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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Nervous second time around

The past week I've really started thinking about the delivery of this baby.  Now that I am 25 weeks along, just past the point of viability if this baby were to arrive early, I find that I am focusing on when our dear baby make her arrival.  Will she be early?  Will everything go as planned until I reach 40 weeks and my scheduled delivery date? 

Since I had some bleeding in the beginning, it has felt to me like this pregnancy was going to be different than my run of the mill textbook pregnancy with Anna.  But contrary to this feeling, once leaving the first trimester behind, everything has gone as planned.  But I can't shake this feeling of worry. 

Every ache, every pain, every cramp reminds me of contractions.  And I've had a lot more this time, which are explained to me as Round Ligament pains caused by stretching.  I cleaned vigorously on Saturday while getting ready to have sixteen wonderful family members over to celebrate my birthday.  After cleaning the fridge, freezer, and under the sink, sweeping, mopping, and dusting, I felt like I'd run a marathon and my back felt like someone was stabbing me with every motion.  Sunday evening I thought my water was leaking, but I think it was normal pregnancy yuckiness.  I didn't dare tell my husband, because I don't want him to worry.

I think the worry stems from two things:

A. I've been through all of this before, but my first pregnancy I was more focused on all of the changes occuring within my body and how I was going to deal with adjusting to mommyhood.  This time, I know what to expect but I am left thinking more about the "what if's."

B.  I've loved a darling little girl for all of her 19 months of life plus the 9 months I carried her.  I know how intense my feelings are for my daughter, and I therefore know how devastating it would be to lose this baby.  I haven't met her yet, but I love her and I love the possibilities she brings to our family.

I know that I've got to let my concerns and fears go and trust that God will guide us through this pregnancy just as He did last time.  Perhaps recognizing my fears for what they are will help me to let them go.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Day #3

Friday was Day #3 of trying to get our picky eater to eat something (anything!) new.  I sent all "new" foods to challenge her palate in her lunch box except for a banana, which she never refuses.  Jennifer, our sitter, tried them all but the only food Anna ate that whole day was the banana.  That night I kept her busy with Elmo videos and toys and kept trying the peanut butter and fluff sandwich that she refused at lunch.  Still couldn't get her to eat.  And this was after going to bed hungry two nights in a row and barely eating all day.  I think she would starve herself rather than give in!  Eric called in from the barn to ask what was for dinner and suggested that we just eat pancakes.  I agreed because I knew at that point that we had to re-evaluate this plan.

I ordered "The No Cry Solution to Picky Eating" on my kindle (LOVE MY KINDLE!) and started reading before making our pancake dinner.  The author reassured me that picky eating is normal, especially from 12 months on.  It has caused parents endless stress for many years, and there are a lot of techniques out there to deal with it.  Pantley suggests not to overly stress over every meal, to try something new each time you feed your child, and to make meal-time more fun and engaging.  There are "sneaky chef" recipes that I doubt that I will try in case all else fails.  I decided after  doing some reading that I'll continue to try to introduce new foods, but not while restricting her intake.  Meaning, every meal will feature new foods, but there will be something that she WILL eat with it.  Pantley says that a picky eater might refuse a new food 10-15 times before finally trying it.  What I was expecting of her might not have been totally realistic.  And there is no overnight or one-week solution to picky eating. 

So Friday night, as  we sat at the dinner table eating our pancakes, I reflected on this whole tribulation.  I realized that as long as I am a parent, I will face challenges like this one.  I also realized that I have to listen to my heart and if a plan of attack is not working, I then need to re-evaluate.  Since beginning my journey as a mother, I think I've learned more from my daughter than she's learned from me.  And I think that is a neat part of parenting.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Day #2

Last night was our second attempt at getting Anna to eat what we are eating for dinner.  On the menu for the night was sloppy joes and green beans.  Again, pretty kid-friendly I thought.  Well, she sat in her chair for a minute or two and then started crying.  Instead of scarring her for life by forcing her to sit there longer, I let her down.  I figured I would try again.  I tried five or six more times to get her to eat from her plate, either with her sitting in her chair, sitting on my lap, or running around.  She didn't eat a single bite.  She went to bed hungry.  I think she really understands what is going on though and it is a battle of wills.  She walked into the kitchen twice with her hands reaching up to the counter saying "please?"  It's breaking my heart!

I realize that I need to set some goals:

Goal #1:  Have a nice, quiet sit down meal with Anna at the table eating the same things that we are eating.
           Objective #1:  Force Anna to sit in her booster seat at the table for longer and longer periods of time each night.  Last night she sat for approximately 2-3 minutes.  I will work to extend each night by 1 minute until she can sit with us for a full meal.  Consider only feeding her meals in her chair, instead of wherever I can catch her at the moment.
           Objective #2:  Introduce new foods at breakfast and lunch at daycare.  We have to consistently keep trying new foods, not just at dinner time, or else I think she will fill up on her normal foods during the day and go hungry each night.
           Objective #3:  Keep firm at night.  If she doesn't eat it, she goes to bed hungry
           Objective #4:  Limit milk intake to 15 ounces per day.  The rest of her fluids should be from water and juice (not currently drinking juice).  This might help her to eat more food.
           Objective #5:  Keep reasearching and reading!  Ask for advice and help from family and friends.

Reading Material:  Just Take a Bite.  http://www.amazon.com/Just-Take-Bite-Effective-Challenges/dp/1932565124/ref=pd_sim_b_1

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Food Wars

This is like Part II of my blog.  This blog is starting to evolve.  First stage:  Introduction to "Ginny's Happy Family."  Part Two:  "Food Wars."

Parenting seems to be the hardest task I'll ever undertake.  And I've hardly put a dent in my "parenting career."  My biggest concern at the moment is making sure my darling daughter is eating both adequately and nutritiously.  Today's doctor's appointment was the catalyst to finally doing something about her picky eating habits.  The doctor is not worried about her weight and height, although she is in the 8th percentile for weight and 24th for height, and my little peanut is healthy.  We talked about my concern about her eating habits.  The doctor agreed that this was a concern.  She suggested that I stick to my guns, and if she refuses what I put in front of her, let her go to bed hungry.  I've resisted for so long because I knew she was small and every bite counts.

Typical Anna Food Day:  half a pancake.  Snack:  banana.  Lunch:  yogurt cup.  Dinner:  1 1/2 chicken nuggets or half a slice of pizza. 

Let's document what she WILL eat first:

Fruits:  bananas, grapes, apples (but not always)
Vegetables:  corn, peas, beans (but not always)
Protein:  yogurt
Carbs:  pancakes, waffles, french toast, crackers, cookies, sugary stuff

Now let's begin a list of what I wish she would eat consistently, for starters:  peanut butter and jelly, cheese, eggs, meat, casseroles, mac n cheese, sandwiches.  Is this so much to ask?

I understand a toddler is picky, but we are seriously lacking in the protein department.  Not to mention the biggest issue is that she won't even TRY anything.  We'll sit down to dinner and she'll immediately start fussing if she's looking at something that isn't on her "safe" list.  I give it a shot for a few minutes.  I let her out of her high chair/seat.  I fix her something she will eat for dinner.  I admit that I sometimes have just fed her what I know she'll eat without even trying our grown-up dinner because it is easier.  And I blame it on being tired from work and just not wanting to face the tears.  My soft bleeding heart hates those tears!

Well tonight begins "food wars."  I will tell you about our emotional disaster of a dinner, then I'm going to do some research, and then I'll report back what I've learned and hopefully implemented.

Tonight:  I started off easy on myself.  We were going to have fish sticks, tator tots, and peas.  A very toddler-friendly meal, right?  I place all of plates on the table.  Eric comes in for dinner. We sit down and I buckle her into her booster seat and pull her right up to the table.  She starts crying immediately.  Full-out crying.  Not even a little whine.  I let her cry for at least 5 minutes, which seem like an eternity before putting her on my lap, both of our plates in front of us.  I'm eating my dinner with a crying baby in my lap.  She is trying to get my attention by pushing my head back and forth and wrapping her arms around me.  I finish eating.  She is still crying and I know that this isn't going to turn out well.  I make more attempts to get fork near mouth but she is obviously too upset to swallow anything.  I put her down and start clearing the table.  She clings to my legs.  I sit with her at the table, again trying to get her to take a bite of anything.  She is hysterically crying.

At this point Eric says to put her to bed immediately.  It is almost an hour before her bedtime, and I cannot stomach the idea of taking her right up to bed in this state, with an empty belly.  She hasn't eaten since 2pm (late lunch and possibly part of the problem, but goodness she should be at least a little hungry!).  So I stall, but it is apparent that she isn't going to settle down.  I start dishes, with her clinging to my leg and crying.  I make one final attempt at food, this time at the couch where I sometimes let her eat and roam the living room, taking bites between play time.  She's too upset, now, and my heart is breaking.  I start to tear up.  Eric comes down from his shower and he is still in favor of putting her to bed right away.  At this point, I have no idea what else to do.  She seemed somewhat interested in her sippy cup but wouldn't drink, but wouldn't let me take it away either.  So upstairs I go with her, sippy cup in hand.  I try to do the nightime routine of vitamin drops and brushing teeth, but she wouldn't allow me to do either of those.  I change her diaper, pull her pajamas back on, and turn out the light.  She is still gripping that cup with a tight clutch, and I try to pull her to me in a hug.  She is still crying and so am I. 

I lay her down with her two favorite stuffed bunnies and leave the room.  She cries for a second more, but by the time I am downstairs again she has quieted.  I am fully crying and I feel guilty.  I finish my dishes, and decide that I want to get this all off of my chest.  I am then going to tackle this like we did sleeping.  After some reading, we decided to give Cry it Out a try.  CIO worked for us and it was like magic.  Within three days she was sleeping through the night.  Those three nights were the hardest nights I'd had to face, but I have a feeling that worse is yet to come. 

There's got to be a method out there for improving a toddler's eating habits.  And I'm going to find it and share it with you, dear blog and possible readers.

So here is my mission.  Watch me set forth.