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Thursday, December 29, 2011

Pink!

Our 20 week ultrasound brought excellent news that the baby is healthy and growing right on track.  And although we were hoping for a little boy this time around, we got the wonderful news that Anna is going to have a little sister!

Eric wasn't sure if he wanted to know the baby's sex or not.  For months I have been bothering him for an answer:  do you want to find out if it's a boy or girl?  He'd reply that he had mixed feelings.  He still didn't know on the drive to the doctor's office.  Still didn't know when we went into the ultrasound room.  They did an internal ultrasound (big shock!  They never did one with Anna and I totally wasn't expecting it.  Good thing I had somewhat attempted to shave my legs, although I haven't done due diligence with my upper legs in months).  Then they did the regular ultrasound and took pictures of what they needed.  All parts necessary were there and she was all stretched out with her legs out straight and her arms up by her head.  Just like how I sleep.  Finally the technician turns to us and asks, do you want to know?  Eric looks at me and asks what I think.  I told him it was his decision and that he knew that I wanted to know.  But it was his decision completely and he was going to be the one to say yes or no.  He finally shrugged and said, go ahead and find out.  I still think that he had mixed feelings about it and it stems from not wanting to be disappointed that this was another girl. 

The technician said, it looks like your daughter is going to be a big sister.  I cried a little, not only because I was holding on to a little hope that this was a boy, but because it is an emotional moment where your entire expectation about what this little one was going to be changes.  I quickly got excited about another girl, and Eric handled it very well.  I think he is still disappointed and desperately wants to pass along his last name and heritage to a son, but he already loves this little girl as much as I do.

We told family immediately.  Some were obviously hoping it was a boy, too, but all were excited.  I can't wait to meet her!  I know that she will be close with her big sister, Anna, and that they will have the type of relationship I had with my two younger sisters.  I am also very practically happy that we can re-use all of the girly clothes and toys.

Weight gain:  20 pounds (already!)
Current cravings:  Still craving anything and everything.  Been eating a lot of Christmas cookies lately...
Size of baby:  As long as a carrot.  U/S tech didn't give us an actual size but she is measuring exactly on track for my due date.
Current mood:  Pretty good.  I wake up at night often but I fall right back to sleep.  My energy levels continue to be high.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

First Trimester Over!

This week marks week 14, which officially means that I am through the first trimester.  I am thrilled!  I HATE first trimester!  I am starting to feel much better and my energy has returned.  I no longer stare at my messy rooms with despair.  Of course, I still have a lot of work to do around the house to get things in shape!  I noticed a cobweb in the corner of our living room yesterday that is just glaring at me.

Pregnancy perks:  snacking privileges!  I've eaten so much junk lately it's ridiculous.  Halloween candy was out to get me! 
Pregnancy woes:  I found out at 12 weeks that I have placenta previa, which is causing some spotting every now and then.  The doctor said that it is likely to change.  Brief science lesson that you didn't really want:  the placenta right now is covering my cervix, which is not a good spot to be!  Nothing causing stress to my cervix is allowed- meaning no sex, no lifting, no exercise, etc.  Ok, all bearable.  And at this stage in pregnancy, the placenta has a great chance of moving up and away from the cervix as it grows.  I get to have an ultrasound every 4 weeks to monitor it.
Stats:  weight gained so far- 5-7 pounds, depending on the day.  So far, I am doing much better than the first time around.

Non-pregnancy related updates.  Anna continues to amaze me!  She's just learning and growing tremendously.  Yesterday I took her to the barn as we usually do after getting home from work.  The cows were in the holding area waiting to be milked.  We can get right up close to them standing behind some metal gates.  Close enough for her to reach her hand out and touch their noses.  One of them was particularly interested in us, and each time Anna touched her wet slimy nose, she would burst into giggles!  Yes, a cows nose probably feels unusual to a little one!  Two of MY cows (emphasis my, since 99% of them are my husband and father-in-laws) just calved and had each a beautiful baby girl heifer.  A heifer is always preferable as they are raised to adulthood.  A bull has the unfortunate purpose in life to become meat. 

I'm really enjoying life lately!  I am full of anticipation and excitement, and I somehow feel so much more ALIVE when pregnant!  Like two hearts beating in one body somehow makes life so much more real, full, and rich!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Sea Bands and Cartoons

Still nauseous.  And although I've only gotten physically sick 1 1/2 times (yes, I only gagged and couldn't get anything up but I'm still counting it as at least a half of a barf) I feel like I'm going to need to run to the toilet almost all day.  The only thing that helps is to eat.  I can't drink a lot of fluids at once or my stomach starts to bubble up.

I am not a big believer in homeopathic types of things.  Like accupuncture or herbs or incense or anything.  But I thought it couldn't hurt to try something (anything!) to get rid of the constant nausea.  So I bought some sea bands.  They claim that by putting pressure on a certain point on your wrist it prevents morning sickness and motion sickness.  I read the instructions but I still have no idea where the point is and it doesn't seem to be helping.  Oh well.

The only blessing right now is that Anna isn't full on walking yet and seems pretty content to watch "toons" with me on the couch.  I feel really bad that I'm pushing the tv on my growing toddler but at this point it is such a relief! 

New words said by our sweet little peanut:  "thank you." what does a donkey say?  "hee haw."  what does a chick a dee say?  "dee dee dee."  "shoe."  "puppy." Add these to knowing what a cow, sheep, horse, and owl say (among a few other animal sounds I'm not remembering right now), and "uh oh," "mommy," "daddy," "sadie," "pee uuuu," "ukk", "apple," "banana," and a few more random words.  I love how theres a new word each day just waiting for her (and I) to discover.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Sick and Tired

So I love that I am pregnant but I am not loving first trimester blahs.  I feel nauseous all day and the only thing that settles my stomach is to eat.  But I remember how much I gained in the first tri with Anna so I'm trying to keep that in check.  Yesterday was a bad day, though, and I swear I ate all day:  two pancakes, a cookie, a handful of cheese curds, left over stew from the night before, a brownie, salad, bowl of soup, more cheese curds, Arby's roast beef sandwich, a value-size jamocha shake, cookies.  Sounds really yucky right? 

Over the past weekend I had some light spotting.  I never had anything like this with my first pregnancy so I got really upset and nervous!  Yes, I had been pretty active that week getting ready for Visit the Farm Day, which is an event we have been planning at work for over 5 months, but I couldn't really remember over-doing it.  I called the doctor right away and they told me to rest and not work at the event.  So I was crushed!  I knew they needed my help and I didn't really want to just sit at home and think about what could be happening to the baby.  So I decided to go anyway.  And I was good; really took it easy and tried not to do any major walking/lifting.  When I got home I rested for a good two days.  I caught a cold so I rested another day and took a sick day from work.  I haven't had any spotting since so I hope that all is going well.  They did bring me in to the doctor's for an ultrasound and the baby looks great.  Official due date is May 10th!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Tears!

This weekend Eric and I went to a wedding.  Actually, Eric just met me at the reception after he finished up some chores.  This was the first night he had "off" of work for about a year.  I'm guessing, because I've really lost track.  So I wanted to enjoy the evening.

My first instinct was to leave Anna home.  She is at an awkward age where she isn't walking quite yet but wants to be independent.  So I knew the evening would be rough on her.  But my entire family was going to be there and they all wanted me to bring her.  So I did.

But she didn't want to be held and didn't want to crawl around (not that I was that thrilled about her crawling around with a dress on).  She didn't want daddy and she didn't want grandma or grandpa or her aunts, at least not for any length of time.  We sat down to eat and she didn't want to eat.  She basically was a bear.  And I can't really blame her!  She'd had one 45-minute nap, and there were strangers and loud noises.

Everyone could see that I was struggling to keep her happy.  And I was struggling to keep my emotions under control.  I was fighting back tears and was getting really frustrated.  And then one of our friends swooped in and offered to take her for a stroll around the room so that I could eat.  But instead of making the situation better, I just felt like I was a failure at keeping my toddler happy.  So I burst into tears and convinced Eric that we needed to take her to his mom's so that she could watch her.  So we gathered our little cinderella's things, unintentionally leaving behind one of her shoes, and hurried out the door before I burst fully into tears.

To make this story shorter, because I am struggling with some morning sickness at the moment, I cried, we took her to his mom's, I recovered, and we went back to the reception.  I wasn't able to fully relax or stop thinking about Anna (and how I wish things had turned out differently), but we did manage to have fun talking to some friends.  And danced a little. 

The moral of the story:  mommies feel like they have to do everything in their power to make it all go right, but some things just aren't going to.  And sometimes mommies need a bit of time to themselves to just enjoy the moment.  And pregnancy hormones can be a real pain in the butt!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Good thing Anna loves babies...

Good thing Anna likes to hold and kiss babies...  She says baby but she has absolutely no idea what she is in for!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

How I pee'd on a stick

Here is the full story, for those who want to know all of these great, but way to personal, details:

I've wanted to start on baby #2 almost immediately after Anna was born.  I was thrilled about my new baby girl but I missed being pregnant.  Call me crazy.  And I had a vision of oodles of kids and I guess I was just plain impatient.

We didn't officially start trying until much later, after Anna turned one.  And it only took us two months.

I am pretty sure that I know exactly when I ovulated and conceived.  I took a test ten days later on a Thursday afternoon and it was a negative.  Then I bled a little the day after.  So I figured, Aunt Flow was in town.  Hence, my statement that I was definitely NOT PREGNANT.  I told Eric this, but he was convinced that it was too early to test and that I could still be pregnant.  I hate to admit that he was right...

By the way, I'm not very good at sensing that I am pregnant. For my first pregnancy, it was Eric who convinced me to take a pregnancy test just in case.

So anyway, I thought I had gotten my period, but then the very light bleeding stopped. 

(any men reading this have also now stopped) 

And I couldn't figure it out.  Meanwhile I was tired and felt like I had no motivation all weekend.  On Monday after work I decided I'd better take a test.  So I bought a 3-pack at the drug store after picking Anna up.  I went straight home and tried to pee on the stick.  But I had just gone an hour earlier!  So I thought that I missed the stick with what little I had and that the test wasn't going to work.  I even touched the end and it felt bone dry.  Disappointed that I would now have to wait until later that night until my bladder was full again, I put it aside and went through the daily routine of making dinner, eating dinner, and cleaning up dinner.  Eric went back out to do some things around the farm.

I went upstairs to give Anna a bath and out of the corner of my eye I saw the test sitting there.  It was upside down because I have this thing about not wanting to watch the magic of the test happen.  I picked it up and my jaw dropped.  It was a positive!  So I grabbed Anna and rushed outside and walked as fast as I could carrying an almost 20-pound baby over to Eric who was loading plastic into his skid steer.  I couldn't contain the smile on my face. 

Eric knew something was up and guessed it I think even before I could hold the test up.  "You're pregnant?" I laughed.  He gave me a big hug and the smile on his face was priceless!

Pregnant!

You know how I said that I was definitely NOT PREGNANT!  Well...

I AM!!!!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Picture of the Day

Anna loves to read.  I am very excited that she does because both Eric and I are readers.  I spent wayyy too much time as a teen just reading.  First I read a ton of science fiction/fantasy books.  Then I got hooked on romance novels.  I love living in a different world while reading books.  Anna will pretend to read books herself now, which is absolutely adorable.  Or she will bring every book in her collection to me to read to her OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.  There has always been a part of me that cannot wait for when my kids are in school- the helping with homework while dinner is cooking, talking about what they learned and what they are curious about, and watching them learn about things that I don't even know/remember- this is a dream that I've had long before we even got married.  I knew I wanted to be a momma and that is the part of being a mother that most appeals to me.  The nourishing of a young mind...  and the connection to another little person and later, an adult, who is equal parts me and my husband.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Friends

Later tonight we have two wonderful couples coming over for dinner.  I am so looking forward to relaxing this Friday evening!  I will have to hustle and bustle a bit right when I get home and I'm not looking forward to Anna whining while I busily sweep, dust, and pick up before company arrives.  She always seems to be bent on disrupting my plans to clean the house.  Her naps are always too short and she'll only sit in front of the t.v. (I'm a bad mom and turn on Baby Einsteins) for so long.  Anyway, I'm sure that part, the part when I'm running around like a lunatic for the hour and a half I have between work and company, won't be that much fun but the rest of the evening should be! 

We are having roast beef sandwhichs, potatoes, green beans, salad, dessert, and wine.  Our one friend, Danielle, is pregnant and can't contribute to the wine-drinking, but I know that Sam and I can drink as I am definitely NOT PREGNANT as of this moment and I don't think she is either.  I don't drink much, anyway.  I'm a one-glass-of-wine kind of girl.  Sam's husband's name is Eric, which makes it somewhat confusing for us as my husband's name is Eric.  But somehow we don't get confused.  David (Danielle's hubby) and Eric and Eric go wayyy back to high school.  Sam and I went to college together and Danielle has become a great friend in the past few years since she married David.  I will post later this weekend, which happens to be very busy with family in town and my grandma's birthday party on Sunday.  I look forward to being so busy on weekends, but I also need to slow down at some point and catch up on some much need R&R. 

Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Happy Family

This is me.  See Anna crawling in the background?  It only seems fitting that the daughter of my heart should appear in every picture of me, even when I wasn't intending on taking a mother-daughter pose!


This is Anna.  She loves wearing hats like her daddy...

Eric was actually re-enacting an old picture of his great-grandfather? standing with a pitchfork in front of the cows. 

Pretty good job right?

Introspective Thursday

I've mentioned that my life is pretty usual.  I might even ponder using the word "simple."  But the honest truth is that whose personality is ever simple?  A single person can spend their entire life analyzing their own mind only to find doors that still remain closed. 

I've spent my entire life struggling to grow up.  Again, not unusual.  And now that I am the age of 25, which is such a young number but feels significant to me, I finally feel grown up.  I have a job that I've retained for over three years now, a husband whom I've been married to for three years as well, and a daughter that I've nurtured for well over a year.  But have I really grown up?

During the course of a conversation with my dear husband, he pointed out the root of my growing up problems ("now don't get mad") that I tend to skip from one thing to the next.  He summarized the root of my problem, not knowing that it would stimulate all of this deep thinking, by saying that I get bored or tired off repetitive things.  Now that is certainly true of my teen years and I can still see it today.  I easily tire of the daily grind.  I constantly want new and exciting projects to keep me busy.  There is a fair amount of repitition in being a mother- feeding, changing diaper, feeding, bathing, repeat.  There is also a lot of repitition in keeping a house with sweeping (I loathe sweeping because it needs to be done so often!), cooking, washing, folding...  Get up and get ready for work, work, come home, dinner, bath for baby, bedtime.  Sure there's a lot of stuff in between that varies from day to day, but sometimes I go out of my way more than I should to find a distraction from the daily chores.

Farming is a lot of repitition.  I honestly think that it suits my husband well.  He takes pleasure in simply doing what he has done for most of his life and will probably continue doing for the rest of his life.  Growing up, I hated doing barn chores because it was always the same thing, sometimes done in a slightly different order but usually not.  Milking was the worst!  Sure the cows are living beings and will always through you a loop, but there is always the repeat repeat repeat.  But I think he likes having the constant daily list of things to be done.  He knows what to expect and appreciates that.

I wish I could be so easily content.  My job has the advantage of never being the same each day.  I work with people, and people (did I mention already?) are never simple, nor are they ever boring.  But I do miss my daughter, who I must admit does add a fair amount of spice to my life! 

So maybe I haven't gotten the hang of blogging yet because this is turning into a novel of self-analysis that anyone else reading will probably find pretty boring...  But like I said, this blog is probably 90% for me!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog!

Or should I say, welcome to myself to the world of blogging... since I'm the only reading it right now.

Let me start off by saying that my life isn't very unusual.  It's pretty typical.  I am a young, 25-year-old wife and mother.  My husband is Eric and my daughter, currently 14 months old is Anna.  I work full-time as an educator and generally love what I do.  I don't love being away from my peanut, who is constantly doing something fun and new at this age. 

Oh, and we live on a farm.  Family and friends reading this blog (some day) will know what that means.  For everyone else, suffice it to say that my husband and immediate family is super busy day in and day out.  Farming is challenging, and the type of farming we do (dairy) is a 7 days a week, long hours a day, kind of job.  But Eric loves it, and I love the lifestyle having grown up with it.  And I hope that Anna will love it too one day, although I am sure she will hate it at times when the farm interferes with her busy social schedule.

So why write a blog?  I've been reading a few blogs here and there and I enjoy learning from another person's perspective.  I hope that you will find it interesting, too.  I am also thinking that a blog will be therapeutic and invigorating for me.  Somewhere to put my thoughts down and hone my sense of direction. 

So welcome, friends!  I think that this blog is probably 90% for me and 10% for you, but you are welcome to a glimpse of my ordinary life...